As I sat in my living room pondering this question, a million ideas were racing frantically in my head as I stormed my own brain for ideas for Family Fest. I had just shared a rather risqué photo in our family fest group chat that stimulated some jolly banter among the lighter hearted members. The act being as spontaneous as any of my personalities, immediately summoned other members to participate in the Family Fest In-house Photo Challenge.
The responses triggered a sense of happiness and comfort that had been stifled or quenched before. It is from this experience that I can now craft an answer to what family means to me.
Family are persons who connect, communicate and cooperate with each other for the common good. They may or may not be biologically related.
Relatives, on the other hand, are biologically linked but may not connect, communicate or cooperate. Other distinctions about family is that they love, laugh and lean on each other. The love shared can be either agape, phileo or even eros as in the case of husband and wife or can be a combination of all three. This love is the bedrock of a successful family and it is the glue that binds them together through the good times and the bad.
Love fosters an environment where members can learn from each other through listening and feedback. When the love leads to more laughter than sorrow, the family dwelling is classified as a happy home. Laughter is an important form of feedback in the communications network of the family. Laughing often is the medicine that keeps the joints and bones of the family well-oiled, healthy and happy.
When happiness subsides, members of the family must be able to lean on each other for support and stability. This support fosters continuity in the family. Though families will inevitably continue due to procreation, a lack of stability and support will ultimately erode its potential and legacy and eventually kill, steal and destroy it completely leaving no trace of its former existence.
Family means being intentional about its success and existence. It means working in tandem with God who is the creator of the family, and downloading his predestined plans for us through prayer. From His template, we can formulate an all-inclusive plan of the family’s purpose, short, medium and long term goals, organisation, vision, mission, and future legacies even down to the third and fourth generations. This plan must be done individually and collectively as a unit. Being this intentional can thwart unwanted fracturing and the spontaneous aborting of the family legacy.
It is critical that we look at the Five Fs of Family: Faith, Fellowship, Fun, Finances, Freedom. These can be used to create your unique family culture.
- What do you believe as a family?
- How do you fellowship together?
- What activities do you participate in collectively?
- How do you enjoy each other?
- What does it cost to be a family and to live the way you would like to?
- How does each member manage money?
- How important is freedom to you?
- What would you like to be free to do even as individual members of the family?
These are just a few questions that can help to guide families as they navigate their own family journey.
May you be encouraged by this article to become more intentional about the success and continuity of your family. May we determine to not just be related, but to be family! Be inspired, encouraged and empowered to make your family the very best it can be.
We would love to hear your thoughts and perspectives on what family means to you. You can comment here or forward your submissions to info@familyfestbarbados.org.
Cheryl Outram
Motivational Writer, Teacher & Speaker
Good morning. I like the distinction made between relatives and family and as I reflect deeply on this, the more I realise it to be true.
Too often the only connection that exists between relatives is their blood. On the other hand, family has a deeper intertwining connection such as being engaged in meaningful communication and spending quality time together. In many ‘blood’ families this does not exist and with the advent of social media, the gap has become even wider.
My mind then drifts to the church family; we are not blood related but we are very much together through the blood of Jesus Christ. We laugh, talk, joke around and share the problems of one another.
Thanks for your comment Sharon. Great examples. You are correct, sometimes our church Family is more connected and offers a better platform for communication and cooperation than our biological family. Sometimes I wonder what skills are lacking in the biological family, any ideas? What causes the biological family to be reduced to relatives?