It is a humble privilege to be a husband to my lovely wife, Melissa and a father to my adorable children. The role of husband and father is by no means a stroll in the park but it brings tremendous joy to fulfil the mandate that God has given to husbands in loving our wives and being a godly example to our offspring.
It Starts with Love
To function effectively as a husband and indeed a father, the motivation must be love. This is not the love based on feelings, but a committed decision to give of yourself, even when it goes against the grain of what is natural. Having a servant’s heart is essential to be a worthy husband and father. The demands of meeting everyday needs require that I think less about myself and give priority to the needs of my wife and children.
Setting Standards
Three keys to my wife and I connecting well are compassion, authenticity and empathy.
- Compassion is accomplished through acceptance, which necessitates that we accept and care about each other’s thoughts, feelings and actions.
- Authenticity dictates not only that we are real with each other, but that we need to take responsibility for our actions and change what needs to be changed.
- Empathy is shown in our actions and attitudes. It simply involves putting our own selfish desires aside – understanding and sharing in each other’s feelings whenever those moments arise.
Spending Quality Time
Presence equates to influence and as a father, spending quality time with my children is of far greater value than the tangible things that I can give them. The old maxim, “Do as I say not as I do,” in my opinion is no longer applicable, therefore, as the leader of my household, a great emphasis is placed on demonstrating the type of behaviours I want my children to emulate. So whether it is: attending church; taking holidays; going on local road trips or coming together to complete household chores, functioning in unison and having the necessary synergy is of top priority in our family.
Presence equates to influence: As a father, spending quality time with my children is of far greater value than the tangible things that I can give them.
Oneal Moore
Enjoying Every Moment
There are several moments and occasions as a husband and father I have enjoyed immensely. Travelling to Mexico with my wife, where we were married over twenty years ago, witnessing the birth of two of my children and seeing my children excel in their academic pursuits. These are some of the memorable times I have been blessed to experience as a husband and father.
It gives me no greater joy than to see a father spend quality time with his children. As a daddy’s girl, I was privileged to have a father who doted on me. He spent much time with his children playing draughts, dominoes and card games. His mentoring us went beyond the boundaries of the house as he also engaged us in “tippy two” cricket, rounders and swimming. My father was my childhood hero and although he is no longer with us, this is over thirty years now, not a day has gone by that we have not spoken about him.
O’neal, I cannot emphasize it enough; your children need you. You are doing a wonderful job. Continue to be the great father that you are. Without knowing it, you are developing great skills in your children which they will need when they start their own families. I know because I have adopted some great parenting skills from my dad which I have “practised” on my son. Believe me, your daughters will choose partners that have your qualities and your son will imitate your behaviours and be a husband as you are.
Continue to enjoy quality time with them for soon they will be grown and fly away from the nest. You will have no regrets because you would have instilled what a good dad looks like in their eyes.
Keep up the good job.
Hi Sharon! Your father was a great man to have engaged you and your siblings in that way. The point you mentioned about talking about him every day after 30 years, speaks to his great impact on you all.
Thank you for reminding us about those great childhood moments and activities which are very lacking today.
Thanks for sharing and your ongoing participation and support. Oneal most definitely will appreciate your encouragement.
That’s my uncle he is by far a great husband and father to his children
Thanks, Tonya. Coming from so close to “home” your words definitely support his integrity:-).
Your uncle is a treasure indeed – God’s man and a hero to his family.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts.
We appreciate you sharing this with your network.
I totally agree with the statement that being a husband and father is a privilege! As a husband and father, I have always seen it this way! I would just expand by saying that your best you in your every sphere and roles will always come out of the quality of your personal relationship with God!
Personally, I have for the past 20 years as a believer, 18 of which were spent married, put God first! Second was family! Why is it important to put God first and family second?! Because this way the quality of husband and father you will be would be dictated by God! As a human being you cannot trust your egos or emotions, they constantly change, you can only trust God, the unchanging! As I look back over the past 18 years as a man of God, husband and father, I feel proud of the great things that were achieved in my family! I could not have done it without Him!
God has taught me how to be a husband and father! As a human being, I am not a perfect husband or father, but I am a good husband and father! All praise, credit and thanks goes to God who taught me, and is still teaching me!! 😊🙏🏿
Hi Cornelius!
You have gone to the root here. Out of a healthy relationship with God, should flow our natural assignment as men in every aspect of our lives.
Giving God glory for all you have accomplished is a testimony of your humility.
As you continue to mentor others through your example, you are participating in the highest mandate for the family-model in the earth. Strong societies are the result of strong families.
Thanks for your comment!
This Father figure is the genuine article. Continued strength to you my brother. To you and your beautiful family.
Hello, Paul!
Another testimonial of Oneal’s character – God’s leading man :-).
Thank you for your kind comments!