It is a humble privilege to be a husband to my lovely wife, Melissa and a father to my adorable children. The role of husband and father is by no means a stroll in the park but it brings tremendous joy to fulfil the mandate that God has given to husbands in loving our wives and being a godly example to our offspring.

It Starts with Love

To function effectively as a husband and indeed a father, the motivation must be love. This is not the love based on feelings, but a committed decision to give of yourself, even when it goes against the grain of what is natural. Having a servant’s heart is essential to be a worthy husband and father. The demands of meeting everyday needs require that I think less about myself and give priority to the needs of my wife and children.

Setting Standards

Three keys to my wife and I connecting well are compassion, authenticity and empathy.

1. Compassion is accomplished through acceptance, which necessitates that we accept and care about each other’s thoughts, feelings and actions.
   
2. Authenticity dictates not only that we are real with each other, but that we need to take responsibility for our actions and change what needs to be changed.
   
3. Empathy is shown in our actions and attitudes. It simply involves putting our own selfish desires aside – understanding and sharing in each other’s feelings whenever those moments arise. 

Spending Quality Time

Presence equates to influence and as a father, spending quality time with my children is of far greater value than the tangible things that I can give them. The old maxim, “Do as I say not as I do,” in my opinion is no longer applicable, therefore, as the leader of my household, a great emphasis is placed on demonstrating the type of behaviours I want my children to emulate. So whether it is: attending church; taking holidays; going on local road trips or coming together to complete household chores, functioning in unison and having the necessary synergy is of top priority in our family.

Presence equates to influence: As a father, spending quality time with my children is of far greater value than the tangible things that I can give them.

Oneal Moore

Enjoying Every Moment

There are several moments and occasions as a husband and father I have enjoyed immensely. Travelling to Mexico with my wife, where we were married over twenty years ago, witnessing the birth of two of my children and seeing my children excel in their academic pursuits. These are some of the memorable times I have been blessed to experience as a husband and father.

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There are some things which never fail to spread joy & hope when we see it. Recently, one of our committee members witnessed the loveliest of experiences: A father opening a car door for his teenage daughter. What an amazing thing to behold in real life :-).

Yes… I was that committee member.

Ever since being a part of the Family Fest interim team, we were challenged to be on the lookout for acts of kindness and to be prepared for interaction with others concerning such. So one day, as I was “killing” time waiting for my wife to finish work, I became a part of a curious captive audience of a brilliant work of art… A young daughter’s dad-hero was caught with his mask off and wielding a superpower. 

His attention was fixed only on her for he seemed preoccupied with this sole duty, an example he was setting for all men who would come after him. He was oblivious to the bustling activity around him in the public market car park. Where did he learn this? Was this passed on by way of family tradition or did he acquire it along the way?

Though it was none of my business, I was so impressed that I had to commend him. His reaction to my comment was all smiles — a cordial waving of the hand and a loud burst of his car’s horn as he drove off with his daughter sitting like the princess she was, in the back seat. 

Yes, even though he was performing this duty and setting a standard this young lady would grow accustomed to, he seemingly acknowledged that his actions could have a positive effect on those who were looking on. His “praises” were coming from more places than he could imagine. He was sowing seeds of legacy for others to carry on.

Where am I going with this? As mentioned in the title “It All Begins at Home,” this daughter was being treated like a lady by her hero, dad. A lasting standard and a positive impression that would stay with her forever.

For the men who would follow after dad later on in life, the bar has already been set. Don’t rob “her” of her royalty, her training and her expectations. Now, what are we doing with our sons?

Thank you for reading. What are your thoughts? We appreciate your comments.

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